This has been a crazy week. I have to share the car with Andy until we get another car so it makes things crazy when I have places to go. I helped out with the bridal fair for Andy and went along on a shoot(I wanted to see the tulip festival).We drove down to visit Karin in Orem a couple times and spent some time with Adria and Alex-who are visiting from North Carolina this week. My nephew is enormous but he is really cute. It is hard to believe he and Max are the same age. It was nice to go SHOE shopping with a girl for a change, I usually get the sigh of boredom before I even try a pair on if you know what I mean. Shopping isn't the same anymore. (If you just want to see the black eye scroll to the bottom.) There's an extreme emptiness to it now. I loved shopping with Eric and it will never be the same...I don't want it to though I've decided. That was something special for me and Eric -it may sound silly but most people don't understand. I don't expect them to either. I still find myself picking up the phone to call him, a huge part of me doesn't want to accept that he is gone. I don't want to let go. The headstone was finally placed last week and it looks beautiful. Gavin and I have been to the cemetery almost everyday since. I really want him to remember as much of Eric as he can. We blow lots of kisses to Heaven! This has been an extremely hard eleven months and I think it is going to hurt for the rest of my life. I truly miss my friend. I can't believe it has been eleven months since I heard him on the phone, or saw his sweet smile or cracked jokes about our parents together or made him dinner. He would even watch dancing with the stars with me-the girls are pretty "hot" but there was more to it. I better stop now since I am becoming a mess again. It is so hard to keep it together but I do it for my boys-they need me, and I eat a lot of chocolate, I don't feel better but it tastes good. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him and it will always hurt, my heart still aches for his laughter.
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Andy was really sweet, he watched Sienna and the boys on Wednesday while Karin and I got pedicures & manicures-it was nice to relax for an hour. (I wish Karin wasn't on such popular demand but I'm glad we got to see her for a little while anyway.) Thanks again babe!
My new haircut-it keeps getting shorter...
I wish I new what he was thinking here, it's such a cute expression. Max is starting to really notice the fish at the aquarium, he should because we go there a lot! It is the best place to take the kids when the weather is miserable. I still can't believe he is eleven months old! He is into anything and everything, he loves his big brother and is still quite the momma's boy. He hasn't got his balance down just yet but once he does he will probably take off running.
No I don't beat my kids, but his eye looks awful!
Do you see the black eye? This isn't the best picture of it and it actually looks much better here. It had almost a week to recover. Gavin tripped last Sunday and smacked his head on the entertainment center. I'm so glad it missed his eye and he didn't need stitches! Then three days later he ran right into our neighbors swamp cooler (it's attached to the window and is just the wrong height). We sure love our clumsy little Gavin!
4 comments:
Looks like Gavin is really "head" strong:) Every kid needs a shinner sometime in their little life:)
That is a beautiful picture of your brother. You two look a lot a like! You are right that you will always ache and always miss him, and there is nothing wrong with that, it's ok. That is what love does to us. But the passing of time makes it easier to keep it together. And thank goodness for the chocolate!!
cute pictures of the boys :) poor gavin and his eye...i'm sure it's just the beginning of what will be a long list of owies! cole's list is getting longer every day!
I am so sorry about your brother. Your right, the pain doesn't go anywhere. They say time heals all wounds. It's not true. It doesn't heal death. My heart hurts that some of us have to deal with tragic death at such a young age. Thank you for sharing him with us, his memory, your memories so that we can get to know him through your blog. Chocolate doesn't take the pain away, but it does help! I find myself self medicating a lot! It takes our minds off the pain for a slight moment as we enjoy something wonderful. . . . lots and lots of prayers.
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